February 18, 2018

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence This is the ability to identify and manage our own emotions and recognize, understand or influence the emotions of others. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is recognized to be one of the most important predictors of personal, business and professional success.

The model introduced by Daniel Goleman focuses on emotional intelligence as a wide array of competencies and skills that drive leadership performance. Goleman’s model outlines four main EQ constructs:

  1. Self-awareness – the ability to read one’s emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions.
  2. Self-management – involves controlling one’s emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
  3. Social awareness – the ability to sense, understand, and react to other people’s emotions while comprehending social networks.
  4. Relationship management – the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.


Irene Becker in her 3Q leadership model has a list of the major emotional intelligence competencies that make up a fully integrated personality:

  1. Emotional Self-awareness – The degree to which you can notice your feelings, label them and attribute them properly.
  2. Emotional Expression – The ability to express your feelings and gut-level instincts. Emotional expression is an integral part of your day.
  3. Emotional Awareness of Others – The ability to hear, sense or intuit what other people may be feeling from their words, body language (non- verbal) or other direct or indirect clues.
  4. Creativity Tapping into the multiple non-cognitive resources that help us envision new ideas, frame alternative solutions and find effective ways of doing things.
  5. Resilience/Flexibility/Adaptability. The ability to bounce back, be flexible, and retain curiosity and hope in the face of adversity, change or challenge.
  6. Interpersonal Connections – Creating and sustaining a network of people with whom you can be your real and whole self. Where there is real communication.
  7. Constructive Discontent – The ability to stay calm focused and emotionally grounded in disagreement or conflict.
  8. Outlook/Optimism – Being positive and optimistic.
  9. Compassion/Empathy – The ability to be empathic, appreciate and honor others’ feelings.
  10. Intuition – The ability to notice, trust and use your hunches, gut-level reactions, and other non-cognitive responses produced by the senses, emotions, mind and body.
  11. Intentionality: Saying what you mean and meaning what you say; being willing to forego distractions and temptations in order to be responsible for your actions and your motives.
  12. Trust radius – Believing people are “good” until proven otherwise. Alternatively overcoming being too trusting.
  13. Personal Power – Believing you can meet challenges and live the life you choose.

Instead of taking an assessment, you can see what Dr. Travis Bradberry says about the 18 signs that you have a high EQ.

  1. People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive robust vocabulary of feelings to do so.
  2. Emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them.
  3. Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting and embracing to change.
  4. Having a high EQ means they know their strengths and how to lean into and use them to your full advantage while keeping their weaknesses from holding them back.
  5. Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through.
  6. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident, open-minded and difficult to offend.
  7. Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. They delay gratification and avoid impulsive action. They know how to say no (to self and others).
  8. Emotionally intelligent people let go of their mistakes but do so without forgetting them.
  9. Emotionally intelligent people give and expect nothing in return.
  10. Emotionally intelligent people don’t hold grudges.
  11. High-EQ individuals neutralize toxic people and control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. They consider the difficult person’s standpoint and can find solutions and common ground.
  12. Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist.
  13. Emotionally intelligent people work daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.
  14. Emotionally intelligent people disconnect. They take regular time off the grid.
  15. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they limit their caffeine intake.
  16. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough–or the right kind–of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.
  17. Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook. They stop negative self-talk in its tracks.
  18. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they’ve done, they won’t let anyone limit their joy.

The good news is that not only can emotional intelligence competencies be increased, but EQ will help us build the leadership, transparent communication and collaboration to lead better lives, do better business and contribute to a better world.


To your success!


About the author 


I’m a Canadian, gluten-free, tai chi loving, great-grandmother. I live in Ontario and love helping people get healthy again.   I use all the experience I have gained in the almost 5 decades to help you live a life full of vitality with great clarity and focus.

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